Dear Family and Friends,

It is with heavy hearts that we write to tell you that our beloved Mom and Gramma Ginia died last Thursday night.  She had another stroke and died a few minutes later.   

Mom was fiercely tenacious in her battle to overcome the health problems and difficulties she faced.  She endured the worst pain I have ever seen after her hip fracture and some traumas I don’t believe I could have survived.  She kept bouncing back after serious setbacks, followed challenging medical advice, and fought through seven weeks of physical therapy that hurt every session.  Perhaps most difficult of all, she came to terms with having to be dependent on others in ways that caused great discomfort.   

She was indeed a “tough cookie”.   She had great resolve and resilience, was not prone to crumbling, and she had a soft and loving filling.  ❤️

She’d had a couple of rough days earlier in the week and we tried to prepare ourselves for the worst.  She stopped eating and drinking water.  Then late Wednesday evening, she surprised us again.  She suddenly woke, spoke to us, smiled, asked for water and drank a big glass, asked about family and friends, and then peacefully drifted back to sleep.

The following day, Thursday, Mom was awake and alert longer than she’d been for weeks.  We’d started taking shifts so someone would be there for more hours of the day.   David went out early and sat and talked with her.

On my way out after lunch, I stopped by the Corvallis library to look for some new cd’s.   Soon after Mom moved to Harmony, Joanie started playing instrumental hymns in the background and the music comforted and calmed Mom.  We’d almost worn out Harmony’s cd’s when I discovered that our library had a wide collection of hymn cd’s.   So we listened to new music all afternoon, from different artists and in a wide range of styles (from opera to bluegrass to Gregorian chant).

Later in the afternoon we played a cd of old-time hymns by the “Heehaw Gospel Quartet Band”.   The jokes and skits on the old “Heehaw” t.v. show were uber-corny but the musicians were gifted.  (I know this because I used to enjoy the show with my Dad who got a real kick out of it.  :o) )   We didn’t expect Mom to particularly like that style of music, but she lit up!   I think it may have reminded her of Dad and of some very happy times from the early years of their marriage.  Besides playing the harmonica and singing, Dad also played the violin and the mandolin.  The music had multiple mandolin solos.  Mom knew all those old songs and the music made her so happy.   

We held her hands and even though we didn’t know many of the words, we sang, hummed, and tapped our toes.  Mom kept smiling and even silently (but joyfully) sang a few bars of “A Beautiful Life” with us.   At one point Rae got up and danced.  That really made Mom smile!  

A couple hours later, she tired and slipped back into sleep.  We kissed her, told her we loved her, and said we’d be back after dinner.  Like she did so many times before, she sleepily asked us to confirm exactly when we’d be back.  

During dinner, Joanie called us to say Mom was having new pain.  It only took eight minutes to get back to Harmony but by that time, Mom was already gone.  Joanie, who has a heart and soul of gold, was with Mom when she died.  

I felt so sad that we weren’t there.  But after the hospice nurse arrived, she told us that mothers often wait to die until their children leave the room.  Once a mother, always a mother, caring for and trying to protect her children. 

We are thankful for the extra time we had with her in the past five months.  It had been many years since we could see each other every day.  We got to know one another in new and wonderful ways.  I learned that I didn’t know my mother as well as I thought I did.  I think we all do the best we can at any given time, I sure wish I’d known Mom better earlier.   So often we are not able to see beyond the “outside” self of others, or share who we really are inside.   May we have what it takes to seize more of the chances we are given.

We are unspeakably thankful that every one of our immediate family members came from near and far to spend a long weekend with Mom.  Being with and seeing us together was so important to her.  It fulfilled a very deep hope and long-prayed prayer. 

We are thankful for the all the people who took care of Mom in such kind, excellent, and conscientious ways, and especially the staff at Harmony.  

We are and always will be profoundly grateful for the support and encouragement that you gave Mom.   It was hard for her to believe that she deserved all of the attention and love, but she appreciated it.  We saw firsthand how it strengthened her resolve and buoyed her spirit time and time again.

Please know that her lack of response to your cards, messages, and calls was only due to the fact that she was physically unable to do so.  She asked us almost every day how friends and family were, but she never had the stamina and physical and vocal strength to directly contact or respond to people herself. 

We will be having a service to celebrate Mom’s life on May 4 in Lakeview.   It will be held at the First Presbyterian Church.  We will post another update once the time is confirmed.

I will leave you with Mom’s wish for all of us.  She told us many times in the past month that all she wanted was for us to “be happy and to know that she loved us.” 

With love,

Marcia and Family